Sidebar: Not Looking for a Love Affair
by kishiria
Summary: Because so many of you asked for it...what happened when Nina Purpleton woke up.


[Author's Note: I call this the Hawaiian Pizza story. There is a pizzeria near me called "Brooklyn Pizzeria", owned by a huge Italian from Brooklyn. On the menu they have an entry for Hawaiian pizza which says, "Ham, cheese, and pineapple. We'll make it, but we don't wanna!"  
  
That's sort of my feeling on this story. I've received a lot of requests for it, and knew I could do it as a ficlet, but I didn't wanna. Finally, I gave in to fan pressure, and here it is. Do you want parmesan and hot pepper flakes with it?]  
  
SIDEBAR: NOT LOOKING FOR A LOVE AFFAIR  
  
Somehow, Nina knew Anavel was gone even before opening her eyes.  
  
The night before had been a dream come true. The man she loved, who she'd foolishly chased out of her apartment after a fight two months ago, had returned to her. She'd come home to find him making dinner, after which he'd taken her to bed. She'd fallen asleep in a confused but happy haze, snuggled in his arms.  
  
As soon as she awakened, she knew she was alone. The bed felt the way it had for the past two months. Perhaps it was the lack of his weight on the mattress, or the extra heat generated by his body, or the small but perceptible sounds a sleeping person makes. She hoped for a moment that he was up already, making breakfast, but the kitchenette was dark.  
  
Nina rolled onto her side. Lying in the indentation made by Anavel's head on his pillow were a rose in a plastic tube and an envelope. Her heart skipped a beat, but she reached over and took the envelope. She sat up, turning on the light and drawing the blankets up to her bare chest against the cool air. She held the letter in her hands for a long moment, looking at the single word "Nina" written on the outside.  
  
There was no point in delaying the inevitable. Holding back her tears for the moment, she tore the envelope open, hoping that maybe he'd just had to go back to his own apartment.  
  
No. The letter, which was just a note, really, said exactly what she feared it would say. She slouched forward, sobbing loudly, the note lying across her limp fingers.  
  
Nina stayed like that for a while, then finally fell back into the same covers which had seemed so cozy and safe only seven hours before. She couldn't think, she couldn't come up with anything to do next but cry. For a good half hour, she soaked her pillow with tears, weeping until her stomach was sore and her eyes raw.  
  
The weeping was followed by another twenty minutes or so of lying motionless, face-down on the bed, whimpering. Finally, she had an idea of what to do and where to turn. She pulled her knees up and forced herself to sit upright. After another long moment she swung her feet to the floor and shambled into the bathroom.  
  
The idea of washing away the last evidence of their final night together was painful. Still, it wasn't as if she could go forever without bathing. The hot water was soothing nonetheless, giving her a womblike environment in which to cry some more. Eventually Nina wearied of that and turned off the water, wrapped herself in a towel, and went to get dressed.  
  
She rented a car from a stand and descended into the lower levels of Von Braun. At four in the morning, there was no traffic on the roads that wound downward to the industrial levels and she reached her destination quickly.  
  
She turned down the lane leading to the scrapyard, going down a roofless tunnel of wrecked cars and machinery to an open yard in which stood a small frame dwelling and a large warehouse. She stopped the car here and ran up onto the front porch, where she started ringing the doorbell.  
  
After what seemed like a long time but was probably only half a minute, the porch light went on and she saw the curtain of the window move. She heard the door being unlocked and it swung open to reveal Laetura in her nightgown and robe.  
  
"Nina! What are you doing here at," she looked over her shoulder at the kitchen clock, "4:30 in the morning? You okay?"  
  
Nina sniffed. "Can I come in?"  
  
"Yeah, sure. I'll go make coffee."  
  
"Who's that?" came a masculine voice from down the hall.  
  
"It's Nina!"  
  
"What's she doing here?  
  
Laetura put her hands on her hips. "Why don't you come out here and tell me? I know it's gotta do with some Jion thing, it always does."  
  
"Goddammit," he grunted. "Make some coffee."  
  
Kelly Layzner emerged a moment later, dressed in his usual work pants and shirt. He sat down heavily in one of the kitchen chairs and asked, "So, what's all this?"  
  
Nina reached into her pocket and produced the note. He took it, unfolded it between the fingers of his remaining arm, and started reading aloud.  
  
"Dear Nina. By the time you read this, I'll be gone. When I found out it was time for me to leave Luna, I realized I felt obligated to give you one final set of happy memories to conclude our relationship. Even though our life together was never without its challenges, I believe it is the happy times we'll both remember most, and that is why I wanted our last hours together to be good ones.  
  
"I am now leaving to follow the path that fate has always laid out for me. My months on Luna have been merely a pause in the journey, but one that, in retrospect, I am glad to have taken. Thank you for your love and your participation in my life."  
  
Kelly tossed the letter dismissively onto the table. "He always was a hearts-and-flowers jerk."  
  
"I thought it was a nice letter, for a breakup letter," Laetura argued. Then she frowned and asked, "Wait, weren't you two already broken up? Did you get back together and not tell us?"  
  
Kelly grunted. "Made things worse. I told him to spend the night here, but he didn't want to do it."  
  
Laetura's eyes widened. "Did he get back with you just for one last fling and then left this on your pillow? I thought maybe he pushed it under the door or something."  
  
Nina shook her head. "No, he made dinner and we slept together. We'd been broken up, all right, and I came home last night to find him in my apartment. He had never returned the keys, and I let him because I wanted him to come back. So I thought I'd gotten my wish. When I woke up, I found that letter."  
  
"So what do you want us to do about it?" Kelly asked.  
  
"Nothing! I don't know." Nina buried her head in her hands.  
  
Kelly got up and poured three mugs of coffee, then put them one by one on the table, holding the last one himself. "Great reason for waking us up at 4:30 in the morning, then."  
  
"Kelly, haven't you ever been dumped by a girlfriend?" Laetura asked.  
  
"Yeah, and I went out and found myself a new one. What's the problem?"  
  
"The problem is that I loved him," Nina sobbed. "The problem is that he was so charming and handsome and smart and great to come home to. I'm never going to find anyone as wonderful as he was, and he got me to think he was coming back to me before he just took off!"  
  
"Nina," Kelly said, sitting down again, "how come a smart girl like you can act so dumb? You knew all along that Gato couldn't stay with you. You knew he wanted to get back to the war."  
  
What war?" Nina snapped. "Last I heard, there was an armistice signed. The war is over!"  
  
"Not for him it isn't," Kelly shot back. "Gato's a royalist. No armistice will ever be valid in his eyes, unless it's signed by a representative of the Zabi government, not some politician who stood to become president instead of just PM if he put his name on the paper. Well, he got his chance to go back to help the war effort, and he jumped at it. Live with it. Find a new guy. You're a good-looking babe, you make a lot of money, it'll be easy for you, come on."  
  
"Kelly!" Laetura leaned forward, fists on her hips, her face a mask of wifely fury. "That's supposed to make her feel better?"  
  
Kelly snorted and took a sip of coffee. "Better than what I could've said."  
  
"What's that?" Nina asked, fear edging into her voice.  
  
"That you helped drive him away. Gato's a royalist because he's very traditional. His dad's a general, his mom stays home, tends gardens, and does charity events with other officers' wives. You work, which is fine, but were you there when he got home? Were you supporting him like he supported you?"  
  
"We both worked and supported each other," Nina said, confused.  
  
"Really? Laetura and I support each other. What I saw was a woman married to her career while her man was a secondary relationship, something to do in her spare time."  
  
"That's not true!" Nina shot back, rising to her feet. "I loved Anavel. I wanted to build a life with him. I know I have a great job, is that wrong?"  
  
"A great job?" Kelly scoffed. "Nina, you love the Physalis more than you ever did him."  
  
Nina gaped, tears dripping from her cheeks onto the table. "You....you aren't supposed to know about that!"  
  
"Well I do." He went back to sipping his coffee.  
  
Nina swayed on her feet. "Oh my God. What have I done?"  
  
"Beats me." Kelly pushed his chair back and stood. "Now if you'll both excuse me, I have work to do in the garage." He took his jacket off a peg near the door and left.  
  
"Nina." Laetura went over to the other woman and steered her gently back into the chair. "You gotta understand something about guys. They don't break up the way women do. They just ignore it and try to find something to distract them. Kelly's trying to help you like he would a guy, making you feel that you and Gato were wrong for each other, that's all."  
  
"You don't understand," Nina said. "Our security's been compromised. How did it happen?"  
  
A moment later, realization dawned. "Oh no. It was Anavel, wasn't it? He found out. I left stuff around the apartment sometimes. Maybe it was....I trusted him. He had a non-disclosure agreement. Laetura, he was just using me!"  
  
"No! Nina, I saw the way he would look at you sometimes. He loved you. He....Nina, not being able to pilot anymore rips Kelly's heart out daily. Yeah, there's the Jion pride thing involved, but I think it's the call of the mobile suit. It's like an addiction. He just couldn't resist it anymore. The only reason Kelly does is because he's got no choice."  
  
"I have to tighten our security now," Nina said. "I'm such a screwup. No wonder he left me. Kelly's right. I have to fix things." She stood and collected her bag and coat. "Thanks for the coffee. I don't think I'll be keeping in touch, though."  
  
"Well, you can if you want." Laetura assured her.  
  
Watching Nina's car leave in the growing light, Laetura rubbed her upper arms and sighed pensively. She knew full well that Kelly's little performance hadn't been for Nina's benefit completely. It had been for her. He'd been reassuring her that she, unlike Nina, was a good wife and that despite his mutilation, it was worth it for him to stay by her side.  
  
If only she could really believe him. Laetura shook her head and went in to start cooking breakfast. 


End file.
